For a few years now, I have been beeping.
You know those security gates that you walk through to get into a store and out of it? I set those things off. The really crazy part is that it is only certain stores and not others. I have always set off Walgreen's and CVS and most Targets. It is very annoying and embarrassing. If I set the alarms off when I walk in, I always say to the cashier before I leave, "Just so you know, I'm going to beep when I leave because I did when I came in."
It gets even weirder because sometimes I will beep when I go in but not when I go out or vice versa. This happened today at Target. I have never set off the alarm at our Target here in our new town. It felt so freeing to walk into a Target, wait for the beeps with my heart beating a bit quicker, then NO BEEP! Ahh...relief. No judging eyes turning my way. Just walk in and walk out and not worry about it.
Ok, so today, I walk in to Target for diapers. (Target brand diapers are my favorite right now. They work, they're cute and THEY ARE CHEAP! And it gives me an honest reason to go to Target. How could it be any better?) I get the goods and score a super cute shirt on clearance for me. I pay. I leave. I BEEP!!!!!!!! What in the world??? I'm totally cluelesss.
I have tried everything to figure out what causes me to beep. Cashiers are always sure it is my winter coat BUT I can beep without it. (I even had one ask if I wanted her to run my coat over there de-beeping device thingamajig in the scanner because she thought for sure it was a security device left in my coat.) My 12 year old niece was sure it was my earrings BUT when I took them out and let her carry them out, I beeped.
I think it might be that super cute red wallet that I "misplaced" last week. I don't know for sure. I thought my beeping days were over but alas I have brought my beepage south with us. It got packed and put in a box and moved with us only to be discovered today at Target.
(Ok, so I have beeped at some other stores down here, but that was just too cute a paragraph to pass on.)
So a word to you if you are ever shopping with me...I am NOT a kleptomaniac. I mean if I beep when I go in, that should at least say something about my honor.
And can I just tell you something? I have NEVER, NOT ONCE been asked to show what was in my bags or anything by anyone if I beep on my way out. Typically I stop, turn around and wait for Mr. Security Guard to come bounding over the check-out lane to pull me aside and check my bags. He never does. A lone, bored out of her mind cashier will usually say, "You're fine." I mean, what if I had a Flat Screen TV jammed under my coat? What IF???? What really is the purpose of those security gates if they don't check? One purpose is to make EVERY other person near the security gate look at you like you are a criminal and should be sentenced to jail time. Fun, fun, fun!
I guess...maybe...I don't look like a criminal type to store employees. I guess...maybe...I look more like the "Please, leave me alone and let me get these two worn out crying children to the car, so I can get them home and fed" Mom type.