Trusting

I had a sweet visit with a friend one morning this week. God pretty much plopped her right down into my life after our move and said, "Here you go! Here is a sister in Christ who will walk alongside you for this phase of the journey I have called you on." He is so cool like that! (We won't mention that she will be moving away this summer. No, we won't talk about that.) Anywho...we were chatting amongst children fighting over toys, children writing on dry erase boards with ink pens, and children laughing in delight. A certain book came up. This certain book has come up in so many various ways the past few weeks. I know God keeps bringing it to my mind and in conversation for a reason.

It is A Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. Have you heard of it? Have you read it? I am thoroughly excited about reading it. I can't wait to get my hands on it, read it, highlight the parts that hit me between the eyes and really, really, really contemplate all of the things that I am grateful for because I take so much, SO MUCH for granted in this life. I am a "see the glass half empty" kind of person typically.

It drives my heart nuts when my head is so full of worry and anxiety over really stupid things. I have never had to worry about life and death situations with my kids. They are healthy. God has seen us through a couple of very scary things, but I have not had to worry over a pronouncement of terminal illness. I have never had to worry about a phone call from the bank saying that something that belonged to us no longer did due to finances. There have been bills paid late here and there, reconnection fees have been paid before, but it has always worked out. I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back and food in our pantry. The other stuff is truly just the cream on top that we can live with or without and I take it for granted.

My friend told me about his statement from the book that WHACKED me hard between the eyes. It was something about how when we worry or stress out about our circumstances or issues at hand, we are basically calling ourselves atheists because if we truly believe, then we know He WILL take care of us and we have no need to worry or stress. WHACK! I am so guilty of worry and stress, like I need to be totally convicted and the key needs to be thrown away guilty. How can I call myself a Christian when I don't LET myself just trust? Has He EVER let go of me? Has He ever not provided in His way, in His time? No!

So today at Bible study I started a new study called Plan B by Pete Wilson and guess what...It totally falls into line with what I am wrestling with. Will I truly trust Him when my plan doesn't go the way I think it should go? So excited from what I will glean over the next 5 weeks in this study!

During our worship time, they played a video of a song that I had not heard before and am kind of embarrassed to say I didn't realize it was J.J. Heller. Hello! Where have I been? But this song hit me between the eyes again! WHACK! Like by the end of the very first line, I was choking back tears and hoping I wouldn't go into sobbing hysterics. It was beautiful. Just beautiful. I want to share it with you here. (Remember to scroll down and pause my music player to be able to hear the video.)

And by the way....I bought the Ann Voskamp book today and can't wait to start it and just soak it in!

Better Than a Hallelujah

I have been an Amy Grant fan since the beginning of my junior high years. I sang all of her songs into my hairbrush. I went to her concerts. I sported her concert t-shirts with pride. I haven't followed her much in the recent years but I caught her newest song on the radio and loved it. It is so simple, so real just like many of her lyrics. She can hammer the nail on it's head pretty well. I read her new book Mosaic also this past winter and it was really well done. I was inspired by her honesty.

The lyrics to this new song are so simple but so insightful. This is just how God wants us to come to Him in a simple way. He doesn't want us to be fake. He longs for us to be real, authentic right where we are, whatever moment we are in.

The first two lines are what really caught my attention and spoke right to me.

"God loves a lullaby in a mother's tears in the dead of night.

Better than a hallelujah sometimes."

I had some very rough days with my littlest girl. She has such extreme moods either the happiest, funniest little thing or really unhappy.

Tonight my oldest daughter chose a Mother Goose book before bed and we read the following nursery rhyme.

"Once there was a little girl

Who had a little curl

Right in the middle of her forehead

When she was good,

She was very good,

But when she was bad,

She was horrid."

This had to be written for my curly headed sweetie! I'm telling you, it had to be.

She was in a very grumpy mood this past week and this mommy was at the end of her rope. It didn't help that we were away from home without Hubby and out of our routine. We were staying with my dad and bless his heart, he kept both girls one day so I could sneak off and get refreshed over a lunch with my best friend.

All that being said, the way that I choose to react to Miss Grumpy Pants is a way of worshiping Him. When I react out of love and patience, He honors that. And He did. We got through the rough days. We are back home and had a DELIGHTFUL day together today. Can I tell you that when she is in a good mood...it's just THEE best thing ever. Her joy is contagious. It is better than a hallelujah!

(Remember to pause my playlist at the bottom of this page to hear the video.)

Beauty in the Mess

My hubby is a news junkie extraordinaire. He knows what is going on in the world especially in the world of politics. If you are his Facebook friend you will know this from the news links he posts hourly.

I have a hard time discussing events of our world with him because frankly if it wasn't on Caillou or Curious George, I'm really out of the loop. So...he fills me in. He lets me know what has been happening while I have been changing diapers, filling juice cups, and maintaining peace between two little ones who need to share.

Some days though, it's hard to listen to. I mean really I do care. I care what is going on in our world, but when you are fed everything in a huge nutshell it is so overwhelming. (Let me mention that I overwhelm VERY easily which is a huge pet peeve of Hubby's.) There are times when I have to say, "Enough. That is all my mind can take."

He tells me every time there is an earthquake reported and is currently listening to all video clips regarding the volcanic eruption in Iceland.

This stuff really freaks me out. I'll be honest. I hate to be all "End Times" but...Wow! Between the many natural disasters happening almost daily and the economic downfall our country...it's so much to take in.

Tonight I was watching the series finale of a show that I might not admit to watching depending upon whom I was talking to but I just couldn't help myself from viewing and watching this adorable "UGLY" duckling transform into a beautiful Betty....I mean swan. Anyways....the show closed with a song that I just loved. Typically R&B music isn't my style but this song was fun and it made me smile. I just had to share it here because frankly the world is a REAL Debbie Downer but then again it really always has been BUT there is still beauty in the world.

The flowers are blooming, the sky is blue, the leaves are unfolding before my very eyes, my girls are amazing....yes, indeed, amidst all of the heart ache and hurt, there is still beauty in the world. Thank you, Lord for your creative artistry and knack at amazing details.

(If you want to hear the song that inspired this post, here it is. Remember to pause my playlist at the bottom of the page before playing the video.)

Macy Gray - Beauty in the World

Jessica's Theme

Tonight I was visiting a blog that I have mentioned here before Isabel Hope. Their story is heart breaking but they have faith and believe that God will see them through their heart ache. While I was reading her beautiful insights from this journey they are on, the second song in her playlist began to play and something stirred within me. I knew that song. It flooded my heart with memories and longing. Where was it from? Why did it move me so? Why were there tears forming in my eyes?

I checked the title and I knew. It was "Jessica's Theme" from the movie "The Man from Snowy River." Have you ever seen this movie? It is a good old chick flick straight from the 80's. I can pretty much guarantee my hubby would be sneaking peeks at his iPod if I made him watch it.

But why did this song strike such a chord with me? It took me right back to 1989(ish). My dad had to go out of town for work for a while and we had a pretty new VCR. My mom and I had a girl's night. We rented The Man from Snowy River having no idea what it was. We loved this movie so much! I believe we had also rented The Man from Snowy River 2. We fell in love with Jim and Jessica and rooted them on. I was in junior high so I was falling all over this Jim character. I dreamed of owning a horse farm in Australia.

This song took me right back to that living room and my mom. It stirred so many emotions in me and made me cry as I missed her so much again.

Isn't it totally amazing how music or a certain smell or taste can invoke such strong emotions or memories. It is so powerful.

The smell of smoke or the way the wind blows a certain way takes me instantly back to my mission trip to Grenada while I was in college. The smell of coffee in the morning can take me right back to spending the night at my Grandma's house as a little girl.

"Jessica's Theme" is a beautiful song. You can listen to it here. Remember to pause my playlist at the bottom before watching the video which is from the movie. If you are in need of a good romance you should try to locate this movie. I think I am going to hunt it down at our library for some quiet evening when I am all alone and can wrap myself in the memory of Mom.

Merry Christmas

What a beautiful song. What a beautiful reminder of what really took place 2,000 years ago. Take a moment and quiet your heart in this season that can bring such busyness. "It was not a silent night on the streets of David's town...but the baby in her womb, He was the maker of the moon, the author of the faith that could make the mountains move."

(Remember to pause the playlist at the bottom to hear the video.)

Christmas Music

I love Christmas music, so sue me! If it has a Christmas ring to it, I will probably love it. My husband does NOT love Christmas music as I quickly realized our first married Christmas when I popped in my Harry Connick Jr. Christmas cd. It makes him grumpy. He is a music snob. He would tell you this too. (I can't find that cd anywhere anymore...hmmmm.) Anyways...over just the past couple of years we have found a few cds that we both like, well he tolerates and I thoroughly enjoy. It wasn't too hard on my part as like I said before, I love Christmas music. I thought I would share with the Christmas cds thatwe have been listening to most the past few weeks. I highly recommend them if you are in need of some new Christmas tunes. So there you have it...along with a Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra one, this is pretty much what is playing non-stop at our house. Ahhh...the sounds of Christmas.

What's your favorite Christmas CD? Let me know in the comments.

Whatever You're Doing

There is a song that brings me to tears right now when I hear it on the radio. The lyrics are for me right now, in this place...(Remember to pause my playlist at the bottom of this page, if you want to see the video.)


Whatever You're Doing
Sanctus Real

It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
All I can do is surrender

(Chorus)
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Revaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow your will
or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is you want from me
I give everything I surrender...
To...

(Chorus)

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to to release all my held back tears

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly
Something heavenly

It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time breathe in and let everything out

Look What I Got in the Mail Today

This is what was waiting for me in my mailbox today. I love it already. I discovered Mindy Smith after we lost our baby in January through her song One Moment More. The lyrics to that song were exactly how I was feeling. I listened to the My Holiday cd while cleaning up the house this afternoon and I really like it.



This is the cd that I am really hoping will appear very soon in my mailbox. I became quickly addicted to Sixpence None the Richer after meeting my hubby who is a huge music critic! When the band broke up, I was brokenhearted. To my great joy, they have reunited and this is their new cd and it is a holiday cd. I need this one! It is actually one that hubby will like too.

Love It!

I really enjoy Feist alot and discovered she was on Sesame Street! This is great! Hope you enjoy counting to 4! (Remember to go down to the bottom first to pause my playlist.)

Frazzled

I am still here. I am so sorry that I haven't posted anything lately. I have been completely swamped. I am a preschool teacher and administrator and am in the midst of getting our school year up and running. I can not believe that it is time once again for it all to begin. Yesterday and this evening we have been having our orientation meetings, so I get to meet all the fresh faced little 3 year olds that will be in my class this year. They are so precious! I can not wait to get to know each of them. I really do count it as an honor to have this position. These are the beginnings of their long educational roads. BUTTTT there is much to prepare so I have been so busy with that. We currently only have just a few spots left in the preschool which has classes for 3, 4 and 5 year olds. It was so exciting to see the spots fill up this spring and summer. We must be doing something right! The bulletin boards are up and lesson plans are rolling. Wow! I can not do it alone though. I have a great staff who is always ready to jump in and help. They are amazing.

I am also trying desperately to help my mother-in-law as she prepares to have a booth in a VERY large festival here in our community. She is up to her neck in quilts and binding right now. I have made toddler aprons, baskets, and a few totes for her to sell. I am excited to see how it goes for her. My sister-in-law has also made some pillows and aprons for her to put in her booth too. Aprons are pretty trendy right now, so we'll see. It has been fun. I do feel bad as I have been so busy with preschool that I haven't been sewing like I had been. Rosie hasn't seen much action these past few days. (That is my sewing machine, in case you were wondering.)

And there are tomatoes....lots of tomatoes in my fridge. That means that I have to make sauce this week! Oh my! Oh dear! That will probably be my next blog....roasted tomato sauce.

I am also still working on my big secret project. This with everything else going on has made me very worn out! I hope to share this project with you really soon. Let me get into preschool gear and then hopefully soon. Preschool actually starts next Tuesday. Bring on the kiddos!

I'm thinking about showing you some of the fun things that I do for my job which I don't really think of as a job. It's fun! :) But it is a big part of my life...so we'll see.

And lastly...my hubby is a music FREAK! If you know him, you know this is an understatement. He runs the blog/label Chasing Lions. He lives, breathes, and eats music, but not all kinds. He is very particular...a music snob, some might even say. :) Due to his music blog he is ALWAYS getting cd's in the mail. He introduced me to an artist that I have really enjoyed. Her name is Jonatha Brooks. I really like her stuff and her sound. I think I am hooked. There is one song that he had me listen to in particular and it made me cry like a baby because it was about babies. I wanted to share it with you.

Sweetest Angel

Every night about eight o'clock
I wind the stem of my little clock
And when I look in the crystal glass
I see a lot of faces pass
Of those I knew
And those I know
And you now coming
And you to go

Here's a word I'd like to whisper
And I'd like to have you listen

All this world is made of love
You are fresh from heaven above
You're the sweetest angel in this world
You're the sweetest angel in this world
You're the sweetest angel in this world
You're the sweetest angel

When I hold you by your hand
I'm in my happy promised land
When I kiss you in the dark
I'm just happy as a lark
So let me come as close as I can
And lay me down beside you

Here's a word I'd like to whisper
And I'd like to have you listen

All this world is made of love
You are fresh from heaven above
You're the sweetest angel in this world
You're the sweetest angel in this world
You're the sweetest angel in this world
You're the sweetest angel

So let me come as close as I can
Let me bring my scattered pages
Let me lay down here beside you
Tonight, and I will whisper

All this world is made of love
You are fresh from heaven above
You're the sweetest angel in this world
You're the sweetest angel in this world
You're the sweetest angel in this world
You're the sweetest angel

And this is my sweetest angel. I love her more than I even know.