It is late and I should be in bed, but I have to write. My heart is just broken this evening. A dear friend called this evening and shared some hurts in her life that she is dealing with and my heart broke for her. I was convicted greatly for not being the friend that she so desperately needs. My heart has been called to change. To look beyond my circumstances and to get on my knees and pray for her, for others, for my family.
I was just winding down my evening, getting ready to head to bed and hopped online to check a few things. There is a blog, Isabelle Hope that I used to check frequently. I stumbled upon this sweet woman's blog after we miscarried our 2nd child. I was so drawn to her and broken by the road that she was walking. Their family had lost their 4th child due to Potter's Syndrome. We commented on each others blogs a few times and that was that. Life went on, moved forward and I hadn't been to her site in months. Tonight for some reason, I clicked a link I have to her blog and my heart sunk. In October they lost their 5th child due to Trisomy 13. I read her posts and cried.
My heart is so heavy this evening for my sweet friend and for this precious woman whom I really do not know outside of the blogging world. I do not understand why some are called to walk such hard roads. I do not understand the plan that God has. I do know that it is not my job to understand, but it is my job to trust Him. To trust that when our world is spinning out of control, He IS in control. To trust when we do not understand, He has a perfect plan. In my limited human mind, this is hard. I want to get mad and question His plan. Why God? Why so much pain? Why so much heart ache?
As I was putting my final load of laundry in tonight and praying, it hit me, "Lord, we're ready. Call us home! There will be no more heart ache, no more grief, no more tears. Your plan will be fulfilled." The lyrics to a song playing on the Isabel Hope blog were exact, perfect. "Give me Jesus, You can have all this world, but give me Jesus." Click HERE to listen to the whole song, the powerful song, the beautiful song.
Tonight my heart is broken, but it remains filled with hope.