Two personal, deep posts in a row. Can you handle it? I had to make up for that ridiculous one a few posts ago that might have made you blush. Ha!
Seriously. I have had an emotionally draining day today. I'd rather not share specifics as they are personal but it's been one of those days when I can't wait for it to be over and start over tomorrow because I know His mercies are new every morning. These days make that little line from a well loved verse so powerful to me.
It's rough this time of the month to keep on trusting with our rent and house payment due. I get very overwhelmed. This then causes me to do very stupid things and I did one of those today and got into "trouble" with the hubby. It's been a rough day, but His mercies are new every morning!
I have really been struggling with the fact that our house is not selling up north. I totally know I am not alone. I bumped into a mom at one of my mom's groups a few weeks ago who was so relieved to have just sold their home and after paying two house payments for 18 months! My blood ran cold when I heard her say that length of time. She was still alive and she still looked sane, so there is hope.
When we took this step of faith to uproot our family and put Hubby through school, I truly believed our home would sell quick. I thought by winter it would be off our hands. Well it is spring and things are not looking too promising.
As I mentioned before we went to my dad's last week and while we were there, we visited our old church. What a blessing this was to me. It felt so good to be hugged so many times! I love those friends dearly. We were also anxious to hear the brand new pastor speak. I have heard amazing things about this man and was so excited to hear him. His sermon was really good but the most interesting thing was when he started talking about the selling of a home during his sermon!
They are trying to sell a home too. He said something like this, "Is it still God's will for you to be where you are when your home hasn't sold after 6 weeks?" Ummm...well how about after 7 months. This hit me between the eyes because, well, I'm there. Is it still God's will? Why won't He just let it sell? What is He trying to do? Does He know what He is doing? Yikes! Scary questions....they spiral me right into that yucky place. That place that I've become way too familiar with...that place that I abhor, but I still take myself there...LACK OF FAITH!
The point was that yes, you can still be in the center of God's will even when things are not going the way you want them to go.
Then he hit me with this, "Honor the person of God before the product of God." When we do this, when we just trust Him even when things are not happening the way we would prefer them to go, we can have joy because WE KNOW God is true. If I focus only on what He does, it will lead to disappointment.
OH MY WORD! Did he crawl into my messed up head to find this out? This is something I struggle with so much. I get disappointed so easily because things don't go the way I want them to go.
Am I honoring God for who He is or am I more focused on what He is or isn't doing for me?
I leaned over to my sweet friend that I was sitting by and said, "Isn't it crazy that we are here for THIS sermon? Of all the Sundays, it's this one!"
I would love to say to you, "Issue fixed!" but alas, I can not, at least not yet. Again this is a moment by moment thing.
This season of life is hard. I have to choose each day...each moment to focus on the good. I have to choose to focus on God for who He is, not on what I want Him to do. I am trying. Today was hard and I failed miserably, BUT HIS MERCIES ARE NEW TOMORROW MORNING!
***Side Note: I am signed up on Spark People but it's a bit overwhelming as there is so much on there. I'm going to ease into that. I am enjoying searching for recipes. Yesterday was a dreary, rainy, cold day, so we couldn't go for our daily walk. I.DUG.OUT.A.KATHY.SMITH.DVD! She kicked my butt!!! I do love her though. She is my favorite exercise instructor on dvd. She seems so real and isn't overly perky. Those perky ones, they DRIVE me nuts when I'm melting into a puddle of sweat and about ready to keel over! Do you have a favorite work-out DVD? Funny story! I did the dvd with my oldest daughter. She thought it was so fun. When she saw that I had on shoes to do it, she wanted her shoes too. A couple minutes later I looked down to see that she had chosen truly appropriate work-out shoes...red rubber ladybug boots! Perfect! She also used two cylinder blocks for her weights! She loved it so much that she asked to do it tonight while I was making supper! She was trying to do the moves! LOVE IT! And that folks, is why I want to do this!
(Above Photo found Here)