Have you ever sat listening to someone speak and you knew? You knew that moment was meant for you. You knew those words were spoken directly to you, to your heart. They were words that took your breath away and brought tears of awe to your eyes. That happened to me on Sunday morning at church.
Let me begin by saying that since the holidays we haven't made it to church as much as we would like. This or that happens and we just don't get there. We were determined to make it this past Sunday. With Sundays being our ONLY day together as a family, sometimes it is just hard. BUT we made it. We were late but we were there. As the guest speaker started talking, I knew...he was there for me. He knew what my heart was struggling with and he was going to speak to me. Even though there were 500 plus or minus people there, it felt like it was just me (except when I leaned over to my hubby and asked what he had just said as I frantically took notes).
I held back tears of amazement as I realized that the Lord had brought me to that place and was longing to speak to me through this man, a stranger. I did hold back the tears because I was sitting next to a young college girl who did not seem to be having the same awe-struck experience as me. I did not think she would be too thrilled to have this 35 year old mommy sobbing beside her so I held it together. Can I just ask...when did those college students get so young????
So the topic of the message....TRUST. Yeowzers! Ouch! How do we survive the squalls of life? These are the main points that I got from the message.
*Trust in the Lord MUST characterize our lives.
*The one who really trusts in God will know how to respond when times of crisis arise. When things are at their worst, it's really when it's the best because then we MUST rely on God. Crisis lays bare what really matters so that we can pursue who really matters.
*The one who really trusts in God will live an effective life not an affected life.
*The one who really trusts in God knows that circumstances are ALWAYS in the Lord's hand. It is not my battle, it is God's so I need to take my stand FIRMLY. It is so much easier to just despair and be discouraged because then we don't have to do anything.
*The one who really trusts in God can offer unconditional obedience to His will. If I trust firmly then I will stand firmly. The plans of God will supercede my will, even the best of my human plans. He is not taken by surprise. I must wait on Him. I must refuse to act before His will is revealed. Our plans are subject to His approval. Trust is the alert expectation that God is God and He will do what He says.
*The one who really trusts God will experience the true joy of unanticipated blessings from God.
*I can welcome each new day with joy because I trust in Him. The future lies beyond my competence because it is in His hands. I can act even without a guarantee of the outcome because God is with me.
So why did this hit me so profoundly? Well, it is exactly what I have been struggling with. Moving away to a place where I knew not one soul last August was a HUGE step of trust. I really felt like we were doing the right thing although on paper it sure didn't look right. It looked pretty scary. I had so many tell me that they saw a transformation of my heart and felt like we were doing the right thing once I jumped on board with my hubby. I was trusting. I was trusting that God would take what looked like a mess on paper and create something truly beautiful.
The past couple of months, my trust has been wavering. We have been trying to sell our house up north, but NOTHING was happening. The money that we had set aside was quickly dwindling and I knew that we only had enough to get us through March. With March fast approaching, panic began settling in. Did we do the right thing? What were we thinking? How is this going to work?
I have lost so much sleep in the past few weeks. Laying in bed, trying to fall asleep, that is when the reality hits and my mind spirals into the pit of anxiety and worry. Then come the tears. Then comes the doubt. Will He really take care of us? Does He really care about our house selling? Does He really, truly care that the only place I want to be is with my two precious little girls, not at a job? Is He going to see us through this?
I suggest that you don't go there. Nothing good comes out of this spot. Poor parenting skills come out of it. The wrong tone of voice when talking to your hubby comes out of it. Feeling despair and discouraged come out of it.
Sooooo....then comes Sunday and WHACK in my face. TRUST ME! I WILL NOT LEAVE YOU HANG. I WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU. JUST TRUST ME.
At the end of the service we sang the song "All Things are Possible" which I had not heard for years but it was perfect and with tears streaming down my face I sang my heart out. This line BLEW me away, "I will praise you with a new song." I will praise Him with a new song...a new song in my heart, a new attitude, a new thought process. I will trust Him.
So that, my friends brings us to today. At 11:50 a.m. I got a text from my hubby who was at school saying, "We had a showing at the house and the person thinks it is a possibility." SERIOUSLY!!!! I mean, did you hear that? WE.HAD.A.SHOWING.AND.IT.IS.PROMISING! That is huge. My flesh is trying not to get excited. I know that this can fall through because it has a couple of times for us already but I know that He chose today to show me, He is still in control. All he asks of me is to trust Him. I'm going to. It's a decision I have to make not just each morning, but each moment. When the fear sets in, I have to take a deep breath and say, "NO! I trust Him. He will provide something, someway, somehow."
There is a song that has spoken to my soul so deeply since I heard it the first time many years ago and again in this time. The music is gorgeous, the lyrics profound. I can not think of a time that I have listened to this song without tears streaming down my face. I sang it time and time to my oldest daughter when she was a baby and I was in the midst of my mom's failing health or when we lost our second baby. I want her to trust Him. I want her to see her Mommy trust Him. The song is by Sixpence None the Richer and is called Trust. (Remember to pause the music at the bottom of my page so you can hear this song.)